A Free Hearing Aid?

An absolutely true story!

A few years ago, a lovely lady turned-up at our practice, and asked to see me, as a friend had suggested that we would be sympathetic to her. She was ushered to my office and after a few pleasantries, I asked how I could help.

‘I’ve come to get a free hearing-aid’, she said.

‘Who told you that we can provide this?’ I asked, somewhat flummoxed and querying her sanity.

‘A good friend, and a number of her family, have already been to see you’, she quietly said.

I was thinking around all those who might have told her this, but her sincerity told me that this gift was something she believed she could have.

She obviously was not prepared to divulge her friend’s name, but was able to tell me the town from which both came.

Then like a flash, it all fitted together. In that town I had worked with some seven members of an extended family, and had fitted a number with hearing aids.

It turned out that her friend had told her that I had supplied THREE hearing aids, but she had heard it as FREE hearing aids!

Audiometric testing proved what I had just witnessed…a simple mis-understanding. We both laughed over this and she was ultimately fitted with a better aid than the one she had previously!

A really cheap hearing aid!

Bloke No 1 goes into a pub and sits down beside bloke No 2 who looks like a bit of a spiv. He tells the spiv about his hearing problem, and the spiv offers to sell him something that will help him hear better, for £10. The £10 is duly handed-over (well, who could refuse an offer like that?).

From his pocket, the spiv pulls out a button with a piece of string attached, and hands it over.

‘What’s this?’ says our friend.

‘It’s a button with a piece of string’ , replies the spiv.

‘So what do I do with this?’, says our friend.

‘Stick the button in your ear, and put the string in your breast pocket.’ says the spiv.

‘So?’ replies our friend.

‘People will think that you have a pocket hearing aid, and shout at you, so you won’t need to buy a real aid!’

Boom! Boom!

Den’glish?

A distinguished retired Danish diplomat living in Scotland was advised to come to me for a hearing aid many years ago. He spoke perfect English and like many from that country, he also knew our slang.

After his first fitting he went back to his house in the countryside, with the instruction to record the good and bad points of wearing an aid for the first time.

On his return, I expected him to talk about hearing music, or the sounds of the country, or even hearing his wife better.

But no! What struck him most was revealed in the short phrase…’Going to the loo! I never realised the cistern was so noisy!’

So much for word tests and sophisticated fitting techniques! needless to say, other aspects of life eventually came to be improved and the cistern was eventually forgotten.

The irreverend Reverend

A ministerial friend of mine, who lives some two hours drive away by car,  phoned me many years ago to ask me to test him for hearing aids. In the ear aids were by this time available and so were offered, but he insisted on a large behind the ear aids.

‘A strange decision’, I thought, but he would not be swayed!

After a two hour drive back to the office I was told that I had to phone him. ‘Surely he hasn’t decided against aids?’ I thought.

‘What colours do these aids come in?’ he queried.

‘What colour were you thinking off?’, I parried. ‘

What about bright crimson?’ he said. 

I almost told him that I thought he was being silly! However I retained my professional distance and he was successfully fitted with the aids (which he was to wear for many years).

However I was sufficiently courageous to ask him (having known him first over thirty years ago) why he wanted to have the gaudy aids.

‘Well, I have been trying to tell the Bishop for many years that I have a hearing loss. He’ll darned well have to believe me now!’

A case of inverse aesthetics being used to good effect!!

Aesthetic appeal?

It’s very interesting to note the visible changes in hearing aids over the last few decades. When I first started practising we fitted pocket aids, which were then followed by behind-the-ear aids (which by this time were almost as powerful).

As time went on we could fit very severe losses with in-the-ear aids, and even completely-in-the-canal aids. These not only were more aesthetically-appealing, but gave an improved sound as they were nearer the eardrum.

About five or six years ago we saw an amazing volte-face in that now we could offer aids which were called 0n-the-ear (OTE), as they sat behind the ear and led the sound through a tube to the ear. They were followed by the receiver-in-the-ear, where the loudspeaker is now in the canal of the ear.

They are certainly evident for all to see in their gaudy colours, so aesthetic appeal cannot feature highly in the mind of the wearer. The truth is that they give a very-natural sound, and this is proving more important than how they look.   GOOD!